First Date: To Kiss or Not to Kiss

Hey Becca,

So I have always wondered this, I am a first date kisser, but I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. Obviously if the date is going poorly I am not going to try, but sometimes, you think you are having a great time, and you go to kiss the girl and suddenly you get the “I just wanna be friends” line. Rejection is embarrassing, but at the same time if you don’t go for it, she might not think you are interested.  I feel like there is no easy answer, but maybe you can shed some insight.


Smoochy Bro

Dear Smoochy Bro,

Good for you!  I think you have a great mindset about this topic.  I don’t think there are any definitive rules on whether you can kiss on the first date or not.  I think it all depends on the vibe you’re getting on the date. Like you said, if the date seems to be going well, I think it’s great to go in for the smooch!  A lot of people, however, may see the first date as a chance to get to know the person and to decide if they like you or not.  I personally think that the first kiss should happen on the first or second date.  If you wait too long, you’ll get in the Friend Zone or she will think you’re not interested.

I think it’s great that you’re not afraid to go in for the kiss if you feel that things are going well.  If a girl stops you and gives you the “I just want to be friends” line, then move on.  If she was not interested in you romantically, then she should not have accepted a date with you in the first place.  Also, this is a tough pill to swallow, sometimes we go on dates with people, and we realize during the date that we are just not that into them.  It happens to everyone, and it’s embarrassing and hurts the ego, but nothing we cannot recover from.

Some guys may also have a difficult time reading signals from girls.  Just because she’s smiling and laughing does not mean she necessarily wants to sleep with you.  Notice her body language.  Is she leaning into you while you talk?  Is her body facing yours, or it is turned sideways?  Are her arms crossed?  Is she touching your arm or leg while she talks to you?  If she’s touching you in any way on your date (not including if she has to for an activity), that’s usually a good sign she’s interested in you.  Girls like to drop subtle hints that they’re interested, and it’s up to the guy to notice these hints and act on them.

I think you have a great attitude and mindset about kissing on the first date.  If it feels right, go for it.  However, definitely make sure your reading her signals correctly.  For all you other Bros out there, if you’re too nervous on the first date or can’t read her signals, then you don’t have to go in for the kiss.  If you don’t kiss her, then you need to make it crystal clear that you’re interested in her and want to see her again.  I’d even try to schedule in your next date at the end of the night.  Girls like it when you’re aggressive!  In the words of The Little Mermaid, “Go on and kiss the girl”

little mermaid



E-mail me at for more questions!

Connect with me on Twitter – @noturaveragebr0 – and like me on Facebook