How Long to Wait Before Asking Her Out

Dear Becca,

So I met this girl, we chatted, I got her number, we text back and forth, and now I want to ask her out on a date. But how soon is too soon? I don’t want to come off too strong, and I definitely don’t want to come off too casual. Help a bro out.


Interested Bro

Dear Interested Bro,

Ask her out right now!  Don’t waste your time texting back and forth; just man-up and ask her out.  I don’t know who came up with these dating “rules” of having to wait a certain amount of days before asking someone out or calling them for a second date, but everyone should toss these rules out the window.  If you’re interested in her, ask her out!  You’ve already met a great girl, asked for her number, AND texted her, so what’s stopping you from just taking the plunge and asking her out?  The hardest part is already over, now enjoy yourself!  If she gave you her number and is responsive to your texting, then I think you’d only be hurting your chances of dating her if you waited too long to ask her out. You have to strike while the iron is hot, mi amigo.

I’m a firm believer that you should ask a girl out the day after you meet her.  You’re still going to be fresh in her mind, and she’s probably still thinking about you too.  The longer you wait, the more time she will have to forget about you and lose interest.  I know it sounds harsh, but it’s true. If you’re asking her out right away, it’ll be assumed it’s a date.  Especially if you word it as “I’d like to take you out for….”  That’s to the point and not casual.

Also, I know we ALL love texting.  I’m guilty of this too.  However, if you are at the very beginning stages of dating, be careful how much you text.  You don’t want a text buddy, you want someone to take out and be intimate with.  Your phone is not going to cuddle with you or be your beer pong partner at your friend’s next party.  Try not to replace face-to-face time with texting.  Try to keep your texting to a minimum at the beginning because you want to save important getting to know you topics for when you see them on your first couple of dates.  A reasonable amount of texting is fine, as long as you’re not divulging important information about yourself right away.

Hope this was helpful.  Good luck to you, sir!  I hope you’ve already asked her out, or if you haven’t, do it right now after reading this!



E-mail me at for more questions!

Connect with me on Twitter – @noturaveragebr0 – and like me on Facebook